Kismet
Regular Member
I've made it my mission to follow everyone O^O
Posts: 83 
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Post by Kismet on Jan 25, 2015 16:35:18 GMT -8
So I am trying out for #11 in this most recent DTA round. I have fallen in love with the design and even more in love with the character I have developed. It's getting closer and closer to the end date and I'm extremely nervous. I am seeing a lot of great entries for #11 and it's bringing down my confidence. I keep feeling like I need to add more and edit everything. Anyway, here is my DTA entry: my-kismet.deviantart.com/art/Cult-Winchester-Koltherian-Adoption-Tryout-11-507481966The full bio is in the description of the image. I want to get some opinions on it? Is there anything missing/things I should add? Anything you think should be changed? Heeelllppp Meeeee! I'm panicking!! |
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Kyris
Newbie
Hazmat, the Hazardous - Icon (cozrion.)
Posts: 15 
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Post by Kyris on Jan 26, 2015 17:44:46 GMT -8
I really like his douchey bipolar personality, I like the whole hard exterior, soft interior thing... and being his friend seems like a challenge! I'm sure Hazmat would want to take up that offer if you win, he'll soften anyone up. xP Also, I'd say try not to go with the tragic back story... but then again, this character has a missing leg sooooo, yeah it's kinda justified. If it were me though, I would give him a loving mother instead of one that beats him, etc. It takes away the "everyone hates me" aspect, and kinda makes it more sad by making it less sad, if that makes sense. What's sadder, to lose an abusive mother, or lose a loving mother? He wouldn't really have bad dreams about missing his mother if he hated her, would he? If I've overlooked something, please let me know. I'm just giving my honest opinion, and trying to help.  |
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Kismet
Regular Member
I've made it my mission to follow everyone O^O
Posts: 83
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Post by Kismet on Jan 26, 2015 18:33:12 GMT -8
I really like his douchey bipolar personality, I like the whole hard exterior, soft interior thing... and being his friend seems like a challenge! I'm sure Hazmat would want to take up that offer if you win, he'll soften anyone up. xP Also, I'd say try not to go with the tragic back story... but then again, this character has a missing leg sooooo, yeah it's kinda justified. If it were me though, I would give him a loving mother instead of one that beats him, etc. It takes away the "everyone hates me" aspect, and kinda makes it more sad by making it less sad, if that makes sense. What's sadder, to lose an abusive mother, or lose a loving mother? He wouldn't really have bad dreams about missing his mother if he hated her, would he? If I've overlooked something, please let me know. I'm just giving my honest opinion, and trying to help. Ahh!! Nono this is VERY helpful thank you!! I will look into everything you said :3 |
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Kyris
Newbie
Hazmat, the Hazardous - Icon (cozrion.)
Posts: 15
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Post by Kyris on Jan 26, 2015 18:53:24 GMT -8
I really like his douchey bipolar personality, I like the whole hard exterior, soft interior thing... and being his friend seems like a challenge! I'm sure Hazmat would want to take up that offer if you win, he'll soften anyone up. xP Also, I'd say try not to go with the tragic back story... but then again, this character has a missing leg sooooo, yeah it's kinda justified. If it were me though, I would give him a loving mother instead of one that beats him, etc. It takes away the "everyone hates me" aspect, and kinda makes it more sad by making it less sad, if that makes sense. What's sadder, to lose an abusive mother, or lose a loving mother? He wouldn't really have bad dreams about missing his mother if he hated her, would he? If I've overlooked something, please let me know. I'm just giving my honest opinion, and trying to help. Ahh!! Nono this is VERY helpful thank you!! I will look into everything you said :3 Awesome. Glad I could help! |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 28, 2015 9:11:04 GMT -8
I agree with Kyris.
It's very rare on Aivos for there to be abusive parents, and even tragic back stories because there's not that many tragic things on Aivos to begin with. Koltherians are very sentient and greatly value their children since it's so rare to have them aswell. Also, murder is very rare on Aivos aswell, since crime rate is extremely low. There's no slums, there's rarely any abusive parents (since they have to pay a large sum to even have a child) and etc!
Also, there doesn't have to be a tragic backstory of how he lost his hind leg!
Maybe he was born with a deformed leg and it was amputated, or maybe he lost his leg on the job (I see that he's a construction worker).
And lastly, The whole "tsundere" personality (cold and hostile at first but very sweet when warmed up) is, I want to say cliche, but not in a rude way! That concept can be used, though it has to be executed extremely well and fit the whole world of the Koltherians very well.
though that's just my two cents c:
everything might not be 100% but it's what I've read/heard and from memory.
And you don't have to change anything about your entry if you don't wish, these were just suggestions for ya!
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